I wrestled with whether to do this one or not, but it's too funny not to! Here's the link to find more...
The Blind Date
I didn't stop, I just kept walking. I feel bad.
Virtually No Personality
My one ill-advised foray into online dating. After a few 'fun' emails, I caught a train (an actual whole train) to meet Mr Online. He had so humungously photoshopped his photos that I think even the speedboat he was pictured on was ripped out of the FT How To Spend It magazine, he had forgotten to bring his 'great personality' and was shorter than me (I'm a munchkin). I made up an early train that I had to be on because I had reservations and ran for the hills...
Six-dates-and-still-on-the-other-end-of-the-sofa Man
Also known as mixed messages man. After each date with no moves I expected never to hear from him again, but then the calls and texts kept coming. Eh?
Mr Tall meets Miss Small
Less a date and more a 'oh-my-christ-did-that-really-happen' moment. It was a school disco and I was asked to dance. Good news, you're thinking, not a wallflower. Not so much...
It was by the very tall older brother of one of my friends. I have mentioned I'm a munchkin, haven't I? I am certain we created a highly humorous picture for 100 fifth years at my school, and as a perpetual wallflower I had nothing in the witty banter box labelled 'dancing with a tall man' that I could shout up to his altitude, over a George Michael number. I am cringing at the thought...
The Future Husband
On our first proper date I picked him up in my car and was driving up to a (very slightly) complicated junction. Despite having crossed said junction before many times I was so very distracted that I tried to go round a traffic island intended for an entirely different exit. Quite fast.
Thankfully there were no other cars in the area and someone with a tendency to endanger illuminated bollards wasn't on his not-in-a-million-years list. But I have never been so mortified in my LIFE. Other than when I told a Vice Chancellor that I had a pedestrian crossing in my living room, but that's a different story!
I am laughing so hard at the blind date. That poor bloke is probably telling the story from a very different angle :D
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm wondering, was it actually a blind date or was HE a blind date?? The mind boggles (actually my mind's already boggled, ignore me ... ;)
ReplyDelete